Girl Talk Gone Wrong

      Tonight I was helping  one of my friends study for our Italian class tomorrow. Unfortunately, one of the main topics for one of the essays that we have to write. Because Laura has the attention span of a sparrow, this prompted her to talk about our boyfriends.
      "So, Shanley, do you have a boyfriend?" She had the smirk of a twelve year old splattered across her face.
      "No. I mean yes. I guess. Yeah." I sounded brain dead. She asked me about my boyfriend not quantum physics for Christ's  sake.
      "Oohh. What is his name?" she asked.
     "Zach. Do you understand the difference between the presente and passato tenses?" I asked hoping to change the subject.
     "What does he look like? What is he like?" Clearly she was not giving this up easily. In my lengthy experience with people, I have learned one thing that is always true. When people are vigorously asking you questions about your personal life it is usually because they want you to ask them about theirs. In doing so, they usually drop the subject of you.
      "How about you? Do you have a boyfriend?"
     "Yeah! His name is Grant. We've been going out for a month. We both do drama, that is how we met. It is        actually a funny story....." And she went on and on and on for god knows how long. I didn't really care though, just as long as I didn't have to talk about my dysfunctional relationship.
     "Does Zach ever do stuff like that?" Laura asked, the joyous anticipation in her eyes almost made me puke.
     "I'm sorry, do what?" She didn't seem to mind that I was obviously not paying attention.
    "You know, just make you feel good? Like you can do anything? Grant is just...gah! He is amazing. Does Zach make you feel invincible?" I just stared at her for maybe half a second and then it happened. I started laughing. Not a giggle, certainly not a chuckle, but a full out, feel it in the pit of your stomach
     "Zach? No. He is a guy I have devoted over two years of my life to and the very thought of him makes my skin crawl." I burst into shrieks yet again. This went on for a little longer than Laura probably appreciated.
     "But you've stayed with him...Don't you love him?" She asked, probably hoping for an affirmation that 'true love' does exists. i had no trouble bursting her bubble.
     "Love him? No. Hate him? Absolutely. Fear him? Without question. Let's just say that staying hasn't always been my own choice," Then the laughter was replaced with crying, "Sorry, I don't know why I am crying right now.It is so stupid." Laura's face transitioned from concern to confusion.
    "Shanley...you aren't crying..." Feeling extremely stupid and slightly insane i touched my face. My eyes weren' wet..at all. That is so bizarre. My chest was tight and I couldn't breathe. This is what I had always equated to crying. In fact, looking back on my life, I haven't actually cried in about four years, just had my bizarre hiccup episodes. After that we completely dropped the subject.
    "So can you teach me how to conjugate -are verbs?" Laura asked. Tonight Laura learned a little bit of Italian and I learned that I can't cry anymore.