It is friggin hot here. It is March 25 and I am sitting here in shorts dying of heat because apparently $53,000 is not enough to turn the heat on before April 30th. Oh well. This weekend was supposed to be our Kony 2012 rally. The university suggested that we dissolve the organization, pending the mental stability of Jason. Tyler and I were going to resign anyway so at least they did that for us. Kendall is livid but there really is nothing we can do at this point. Most of the vendors have pulled out anyway and when the dean say no...the dean says no.
Um....let's see....what else is new with me? Ok, I have a confession to make. Or I guess two. I said I would never mention Andrew on my blog again. I lied, obviously. I am only bringing it up because...well I honestly don't know. It is just on my mind. We were supposed to hang out the first day I came home for spring break. I said to myself that this was his last chance. If he blew me off this time I had to walk away. Needless to say he didn't show. Or make any other plans. Instead he just justified it to Brittany, who would frankly kiss his ass no matter what he said. I sent him a text saying I couldn't do this anymore and he never answered. So that should have been that, right? I couldn't help myself, I wished him happy birthday. My roommate told me it was a good idea. That should have been the first red flag. He thanked me. Sure he could respond to that text. I would bet both my kidneys that I do not hear from him on my birthday. So why can't I just let him go? I know I have an addictive personality but can that also apply to people? I have always stayed with people that treat me like shit. First Zac and now the guy I am seeing now isn't a great guy and it could threaten whatever is going on with Tyler and me, but I still go with them all the same. I've done substance rehab, now I need asshole rehab. The hard part with Andrew is that unlike Zac and Luca, I honestly believe that there is a good person in Andrew. And when things were good, I saw that person, or maybe it was all just a lie and I am the idiot that falls for it every time. Because lets face it, when I needed him, he wasn't there. I am holding on to our friendship for dear life and he leaves me hanging. I don't know how to be something he cares about and I shouldn't have to figure out. It's that simple. I just need to detox.
Having Luca here is bittersweet. He reminds me a lot of Zac, which is a whole subject that still hurts, but Luca is helping. We are enjoying an old pastime. I forgot how much I loved the high. First the tightness of the belt, the sharp sting, and then finally blissful release.
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